Archive for September, 2013

Don’t You Remember?

Posted: September 26, 2013 by clairer in God's Faithfulness, Trusting God

I was sitting at my desk, colored pens and highlighters strewn about, a blank Word document flashing on my computer screen, and all I could see was that to-do list in front of me with those ominous words: “Due This Week.” The list was too long. A 10-page paper, a biology exam, extra class lectures, another test, a biology project, moot court arguments, a mock trial round, regular class readings…and all in a four day period. I looked at that color-coded list and could only think one thing: I just can’t do it. Not this time. It’s not going to all get done.

Sometimes I wish I could see God’s face when I say things like that. Does he chuckle? Does he smile knowingly – already seeing exactly what my week is going to be like? Or does his face show disappointment? Are his eyes sad, as I imagine they were when he turned to His disciples in the middle of the storm and said, “You of little faith…why do you doubt?”

The thing is, while the last week and a half of my life has been ridiculously busy with hardly an hour to rest between finishing one project and starting the next, and though  I’ve gotten little sleep, finished assignments sometimes at the last minute, and sometimes just didn’t perform up to my perfectionist standards…this wasn’t anything new for my life. I’ve had busy weeks before (as a college senior, I’ve already survived six semesters and two summers of midterms and finals). I’ve looked at a long to-do list before. And yes, I’ve panicked over them too.

But even so, I’ve always made it through. And more than that – I’ve still always managed to thrive through even the busiest times. Why? Not because of anything on my part, but because every time that I’ve reached the end of my rope, God has shown His love and faithfulness to reach even farther.

Over my time at college, I’ve watched as God has provided the perfect research for papers the night before they are due. I’ve seen how He inspires professors to cancel classes, change due dates, or give extensions for no particular reason…just in the moments when I need it most. I’ve experienced God’s love through hugs from friends or conversations with professors, when I desperately needed encouragement. There have been nights when I should have been utterly exhausted, yet God gave me wakefulness and alertness to finish the assignment due the next day. He has, in fact, somehow always provided for my needs and sustained me through my busiest and most stressful weeks at school. But I forget this so easily.

I think God nudged me with His truth this week. Even as I looked at that long list and swore I’d never get it done, in the back of my mind, I could hear Him asking me, “Don’t you remember? Haven’t I always sustained you? Haven’t I always carried you through this? Why would I abandon you now? I’m here…have faith in me.”

Jesus promised that if we have even the smallest faith in him, “even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.” My pile of schoolwork may not quite be a mountain (though it feels like it), but resting in God’s faithfulness, I was able to make it through. Now if only I can remember that next time….